Troublemaker

I am a troublemaker, all I know is giving troubles to everyone, my family, my friends.
;

Who am I?

I keep asking myself this question, again and again whenever I felt lose, and so, I felt worst because I don't have an answer to this question.
Sometimes, I feel like dying, because the loneliness ate my heart up, bit by bit, leaving me writhing to death, with no one with me. I never like to disturb my friends too much, because I know, sooner or later, they will get fed up with me, and I rather do things by myself and not relying on people.

 Silence is a girl loudest cry

Stressed?

I am very exhausted lately. I have been shutting my eyes for only 3 to 5 hours per day, with the tons of schoolwork, project and tuition work. I have been wishing and wishing that I can get to sleep more, but my wishes never come true. Nobody can know how tired I am. I was so tired that I can even feel my heart thumping extra slow and I have no energy in me at all. 

;

How nice if everything can slow down :)

Everyone is talking about exams,SPM blah blah blah... I am not even ready. I envy those geniuses, who can score well in every exams. I may be brainless, and I hate to stuff things in my brain, so I have a lousy memory, and so I am stupid.

But...

No matter how stupid or how useless I am, I still would like to score well in my exams, especially in my SPM. And... If I cannot even score well in this coming mid term exams, then I will be totally hopeless for my SPM. 

I wish I could just faint, so I could just keep my eyes shut and get away from my simple yet complicated life.

Mummy,Daddy and those who care for me, please do not have high hopes for me, because I may let you down.

Are you crying?

No, I am just washing my eyes

;
Crying just seems to be a waste of tears and energy, but I still cry no matter how many times I say to myself 'Stop crying idiot!'
# I always wanted to be strong and tough, but I always seems to fail everytime.
Because I am weak.
Because I am useless.
Because I am fragile and easily broken.
Because I keep lying to myself that I am okay.
Because I always pretend to live in my own fantasy.
Because I am brainless.
Because I am a coward.
Because I am an idiot, a big fool.
Because I want people to pay attention to me.
Because I keep pretending I don't care for anything.
Because I am always wrapping myself tightly and try not to expose myself, not giving chance to anyone to walk in my heart.
Because I am too fearful to get hurt.
Because I have a mask, borrowed from The Phantom of the Opera.
Because I am a nobody.
And because I am a troublemaker.
All I know how to do is to eat, sleep and create problems for my family and friends.
;
Who are you?
Who am I?
Who is Lim HuiQing?
I don't even know myself, so I don't expect people to understand me either, because I am a weirdo, and a boring girl.

So, people, pay no attention to me, stop caring for me, because there is no HuiQing in this big, big world </3

My Dream Shoes ;)

Which girl doesn't want to be a princess? But not every one is so lucky, to have a blissful live with the price, ever after.
All I want is just a pair of princess heels that fits perfectly for me.
Is it too much to ask for?
Why can't a simple wish of mine comes true? </3